Sick bed musings
I used to believe that if I was ill, and in hospital, I would sit by the side of my bed, dressed: until I got real.
Being ill sometimes means my nightwear gets changed because it’s been worn 24/7, and it’s beginning to smell.
Being ill means my sick-bed multi-tasks as a library, of books I want to read, but don’t have the concentration for. A roving dog bed, as snoring Kyra and I dance round the space. An observatory, as I delight at the wind blowing through the neighbour’s pine tree, it’s jostling branches playing a frantic game of tag. It also becomes a rubbish bin for tissues and other detritus.
Being ill is a challenging process on all levels, it’s different every time and we all navigate that as best as we can.
I am not in hospital, but I am ill.
I thought I would share some ideas, including Alexander Technique ones, that are helping me. They are not earth shattering. They come into my full focus and then wane. I do what I can. It takes perseverance. They are not a panacea but they bring me joy. They help me remember there’s more to life than feeling ill. They may give you some ideas to try out when you are ill? Even one will change the experience.
The root of my problem (literally) has been a tooth infection that spread and is ongoing. Sometimes all I can manage is to let my body get on with it. Other times:
- I notice myself in my environment, what is around me, sensing what is behind me (without looking) and that helps me be in the present moment. It calms me and placates my need to be well.
- I observe my body, where it is attempting to brace and hold against the unknown invader . My teeth, jaw, face and neck regularly take on a defensive role. Softening my eyes reduces strain and pain. Releasing the inside of my mouth into length and width ripples through my body, my shoulders drop and I breathe more deeply.
- Noticing pain free areas rather than painful areas also helps break a cycle that feeds the pain.
- I am remembering to balance rest with activity. I regularly take a walk round the house and garden. I have been exploring a few things as I do that such as:
Noticing my breathing as I move.
What happens if I breathe out when I stand up?
What happens if I take a breath in?
What happens when I don’t change my breathing and think crown away from feet as I stand?
What differences can I feel under my feet as I move from one surface to another, from carpet to wooden floor to stone to lawn?
I observe my reluctance to lay down in the day time. I remind myself of my niece as a baby, when she had not yet learned how to sooth herself to sleep, and she struggled with that transition from wakefulness to rest. However, through resisting rest, on laying down, I discover I have created pain. I rest, letting go of the effort of being upright, and as I release into semi supine it brings ease and relief from pain. My body thanks me. There’s a work in progress for me here as I challenge beliefs around this resistance and honour the need to sleep.
- When the energy rises I tackle the accumulating pile of dirty items that won’t go in the dishwasher. I enjoy the contact of my feet on the floor, the view of the changing colours in the garden, the sounds the water makes in the sink as I work. I also notice my gradually wrinkling hands and a growing tiredness as I sense the whole of me in this space.
- I am thankful for my husband’s suggestion to sit outside. Somehow I forget that simple things can be a blessing. I can enjoy how the delightful autumn sun gives life to the Acer’s vibrant feathery red leaves against the electric green garden. I have a special fondness for the shadows on the patio, especially the dancing butterflies. I even saw a Red Admiral yesterday, in October!
- I can laugh at myself. This morning before my husband went to work he came to see me in bed, to say goodbye. Wryly he said “New brooch?” gesturing to my top and grinning. I looked at it with puzzlement and there was a purple, lint covered, firmly glued, partly used, throat lozenge! Well, it had obviously done its job of calming my coughing and helping me get off to sleep! Being ill can be very messy, and amusing.
“Although the world is full of suffering, it is also full of the overcoming of it.” Helen Keller
Perhaps these ideas might help you towards overcoming suffering? I wouldn’t recommend the brooch.
When you and I are well, perhaps we could work together to explore these ideas? Contact me or phone me to book a lesson or workshop.
Jane Clappison
01759 307282
Embrace the mystery of the Alexander Technique: bring balance to life on all levels.
This is the second in a series of Alexander Technique (AT) student interviews I carried out. You will discover, as I share these interviews with you in my blogs, how unique each person’s experience of having Alexander Technique lessons is. Yet there are common threads you may also begin to discover.
These are highlights of Cathy’s experiences during and after Alexander lessons. They:
- helped bring mental, physical & spiritual calm,
- confidence, and pain relief,
- comfort and alignment and understanding of her body,
- balance on all levels,
- appreciation of the present moment.
I have changed some personal details of Cathy’s story for confidentiality reasons.
Like many others, Cathy turned to AT, many years after originally learning about it. She was in her 40’s and had experienced a number of bereavements, plus pain and anxiety. She felt she was living in her head and running away from her body. Cathy felt sure AT would help with these issues as it addresses the whole person.
When we started working together Cathy was keen to read up on AT and other related areas. Despite taking a scholarly approach, Cathy said she had to embrace the mystery of AT: until she experienced AT, she didn’t really know it.
Initially she noticed a comfortableness in her own body which she could not recall ever experiencing. Cathy felt recalibrated after lessons, that her posture improved and everything felt in alignment. Cathy wondered if this was like her body was as a young child.
Cathy noticed that some lessons brought up emotional issues and she felt she had to be a bit brave and see where the lesson took her. Despite this, Cathy said that lessons were mentally, physically and spiritually calming.
Cathy previously used a variety of techniques to help with pain, but now includes AT, and often notices that the pain isn’t actually there.
Cathy describes AT as a fast track to sensing her body. It helps her to own her body and see it as a good thing, when she used to be fearful of it. She said AT helped her inhabit her body and all its senses and be open to its messages.
Through lessons Cathy feels connected to herself (no longer alone) and that AT helps her balance and orientate herself to the world around her. It has improved her confidence and belief in herself. Cathy feels with AT she can be bold.
Cathy can now really appreciate the present moment, and a weed growing through tarmac can fill her with awe just as much as a beautiful sunset can.
Cathy taught active rest (an AT procedure) to her young child: combined with breathing, it helped them to ease tummy ache/indigestion.
AT helps Cathy on a daily basis to not act in a reflex way as she did before. She has learned how to stand back, wait and be still. With that, she feels she can make better choices and has balance in her life on all levels.
Fancy finding out about what you will gain after Alexander Technique lessons? Calm? Confidence? Balance? Pain relief? Appreciation of the present moment? Give me a ring or contact me.
Further individual interviews to follow in future blogs.
Jane Clappison
Alexander Technique Teacher
Tel:01759 307282
www.janeclappison.co.uk
Toothache, chicken little, anxiety and the Alexander Technique
I don’t know when I decided not take any notice of TV news. Nor do I remember when I consciously avoided reading the daily papers, but it was before the days of the internet. I imagine I was in my late teens. I just didn’t want to know how bad things were.
As I therefore knew less about the world at large, I marvelled at how my maternal Grandmother kept up with current affairs. One phone call got me up to speed. I am sure it kept her keenly aware into her 90’s and also extremely grumpy.
Despite an aversion to bad news, I did develop a liking for the Scottish Post as they seemed to be more about good-news stories. Their cartoons like the mischievous Oor Wullie and the family life of The Broons made for a hilarious treat. I now love a very un-PC paper for its brain teasers and TV guide, but my love of newspapers and bad news in general (isn’t it almost always bad now) and current affairs, ends there.
Maybe you feel this sense that most news reports are bad news?
Nowadays I can’t avoid death, destruction, vandalism, global warming, not global warming, air quality, plastic floating islands, mass extinctions, deforestation, wars, starvation, discrimination and on and on. As a result, I find myself being pulled into a state of irritation and anxiety. Like a nagging tooth pain, for which there is no cure. The internet, and particularly social media, seem to have got to me in ways my paper/TV news avoidance could not. Perhaps a remote cave might help, but I enjoy being in and of the world. So, I can’t avoid knowing some of the heartbreaking news we are bombarded with from all sides, today.
At times I feel like Chicken Little, crying out that the sky is falling in. Except he discovered it wasn’t falling in, and that all was well. My conclusion is that we are finely balanced at a point where we don’t know whether the sky will fall in or not.
My news avoidance does not mean I don’t care. My nuclear family do try to save the planet in their small way. I am also grateful for the ordinary things in life and to the extraordinary people whose work brings light to my darkness and positive things into my awareness. The Alexander Technique, is as always a bedrock in my life, as it does help with this tooth pain and minimise my inner Chicken Little.
Here’s something Alexander-ish that’s helping me to calm my thoughts and accept all the messiness and uncertainty.
You might read and say the words and phrases, below, to yourself or
you can listen to me saying them via the MP3, available on You Tube.
These thoughts change how I feel. Each idea would describe learning the Alexander Technique or how it feels to be truly immersed in its effects. It helps settle my anxieties. Invite the words to work with you. It may help you too?
Find yourself a comfy spot. You may be laying down with your knees bent, head on books, or resting gently back on a chair.
In your comfy spot, do nothing, absolutely nothing. Give yourself permission to do nothing.
Sit dear heart and rest.
You may notice thoughts and feelings tossing you in all directions but observe them and let them be. Choose not to follow their path.
Let go of all the doing, trying and striving. Oh! The endless trying. Feels great to let it go, doesn’t it?
Be.
Be, here, doing nothing.
Begin to notice your breathing but don’t try to do anything with it. Open up the possibility of giving up control.
Be willing to not know where this is going.
No need to anticipate what will happen next. Just for a while be rudderless, no landmarks, nothing to guide the way. Nothing to achieve.
Stop.
Where you are going is unrecognisable. Yet part of you already knows you are not going anywhere. It will be such a non-event from here to there.
Trust.
Be still and wait. Feel how liberating the release of seeking is.
Let information come to you. Sounds, sights, sensations, vibrant life goes on.
Rest.
Release the habit of wanting to control, to know what will emerge. Decide not to do a single thing. Decide to be perfect just as you are.
Wait.
Wait without waiting for anything.
Nothing matters here in this void as nothing is matter. Permeate into this nothingness that is everything.
Nothing to seek as everything is already enough. Everything is here in the stillness.
No desire, just pure expanding awareness, deep in the ocean, where all is still.
Time ceases to be past, future or linear. This is outside time, yet time passes unpredictably. Rest in this limitless, timeless presence.
Rest.
As you move on with your day, presence is always there for you in the stillness. If you find yourself feeling anxious and agitated, remember:
The stillness is always present.
Sit dear heart and rest.
If you fancy finding out how learning the Alexander Technique is like this, book a session!
Jane Clappison
Tel:- 01759 307282
www.janeclappison.co.uk
Goodie bags, fortune cookies and the Alexander Technique
I had expected similar experiences, from person to person, when I began interviewing Alexander Technique (AT) students. What I didn’t expect to find, however, was how wonderfully unique those experiences were, and how the technique influenced all elements of their lives.
What follows are highlights of the first interview.
I have changed some personal details for confidentiality reasons.
Sam is in her 50’s, lives with her husband and children and works in a listening profession. She enjoys being creative, and physical activity such as swimming, running and walking in the countryside.
Sam has had experience of the technique both in individual lessons and group sessions. She told me she sees the Alexander Technique as being about body mindfulness.
Having had her first AT lesson as a teenager she came back to it during a pregnancy. Wishing to improve her wellbeing, and apply AT to this specific event, she discovered it had a huge impact. She found it nourishing, allowing her to use her body in a different way. Also, during the birth she was able to move freely, see vividly, and be comfortable in her own body.
Sam continues to have the occasional individual lesson. She says the whole experience of a lesson is gorgeous, rather like going on a retreat. She leaves a lesson feeling freer, lighter and more present. But the benefit doesn’t end there. It’s like she takes a party bag away with her, which has little things inside, like, for example, scented hand lotion and little fortune cookies.
Between lessons, she can get a treat by taking things out of the party bag. She tunes into her body, opens up a fortune cookie, and reads the saying in it. Even one ‘saying’ helps. Sam feels tuning in and using these sayings are influential and pivotal moments, short cuts to enhance the impact of the lesson. One of her fortune cookie sayings is: let the neck be free.
Sam talked about her party bag analogy further and how she used the scented hand lotion on those occasions when she has stopped taking care of herself. Sam chooses one of the hand creams (from the lesson) which might be relaxing or stimulating and then massages it in to get the effect that is wanted. This supports her self-care between lessons.
From her experience, Sam sees that AT has multiple uses from specific events (like childbirth), or trauma (like a back injury or operation), to being in the moment. She told me she has learned helpful do-it-yourself, AT strategies, to use in all of these situations.
Sam says the overall, long term benefit of Alexander Technique lessons, is difficult to define, but she leads a richer life for it.
Fancy finding out about what might be in your goodie bag after an Alexander Technique lesson? Give me a ring or contact me!
Further individual interviews to follow in future blogs.
Jane Clappison
Alexander Technique Teacher
Tel:01759 307282
www.janeclappison.co.uk
Learn from failure
“We learn from failure, not from success!”
Bram Stoker
Dear Alexander Technique students,
I want you to drop your standards (and me, mine). Here’s why:
I was sat in a great cafe, here in Pocklington. They have a tiny table, just for people like me. It’s right next to the cakes, so I can enjoy all their gorgeousness without taking on a single calorie (could inhaling the smell do that?). I was sipping my cappuccino, trying not to get a “joker” smile from the chocolate. I was also writing about my challenges to simply sit down and play my harp.
In came a young woman wrestling with a huge guitar case (you know, the type that withstands almost everything), music books and full hessian bags. Before she sat down at a table, the guitar reverently went on the seat next to her, one of her bags got another seat and the floor and table the rest. She gave her order and proceeded to open up a music book and play the air with her fingers. She was humming in her head (I could tell) and tapping her foot too. I knew she was playing that piece, I could almost hear it. Here was a musician, through and through.
Intuitively I knew she had the experience that would really help me with my harp playing issue. I sat there feeling a bit nauseous at the thought of going over and starting a conversation. Never before had I attempted that. Then she looked up and smiled at me. The warmth of it gave me courage, to ask her if she still found practising a challenge. Yes, was the answer. She also shared so much more. It gave me hope for my musical adventure.
What’s this got to do with standards? What’s it got to do with the Alexander Technique?
One of the other things that lovely young woman said, was that she records her playing, and listens to it for mistakes. It’s the mistakes she learns from.
Mistakes to her are what help her excel at what she does. They are part of her deep practice. They are her tool to getting better at her craft.
So, when we realise we have not “inhibited” when we are applying the Alexander Technique, when we lose the present moment and dive into life without a pause: it’s not a failure to meet a specific standard. It’s simply another bit of information to learn from. We will have the opportunity to grow from those moments, review what it is we want, choose what we might do next time, how we want to be next time, and play with it!
Perhaps the standard should be to make as many mistakes as possible?
Fancy making some mistakes with me? Take lessons in the Alexander Technique!
Jane Clappison
01759 307282
www.janeclappison.co.uk
Empowered Birth
Call the Midwife is my favourite TV programme. I feel totally emotionally wrung out after I have seen an episode but, despite that I couldn’t miss one. Episodes are set in the 1950’s and 60’s and involve a team of midwives, based in a convent in the East End of London. My heart bursts open each episode with the compassion and kindness portrayed through human stories from birth to death. An episode I recently watched involved 2 main stories. One of a sensitively portrayed death from cancer and the other of a single mum who had a breech birth (i.e. feet first, when many babies come head first).
Breech births are more complicated than a head first birth and need a skilled birth companion as support during the birth. The nurses on Call the Midwife knew what to do. Nowadays most potential breech births end up with a caesarean delivery, to minimise risks.
Caesarean deliveries for some while have been as quick as possible and very perfunctory. Especially in an emergency when there is a sense of urgency.
I was delighted therefore, to watch a video of a slow caesarean. In this video, baby’s journey into the world was, as I saw it, powerful. They had lower lighting, music, mum could see what was going on (not screened from it) and once babies head was clear the surgeon was mostly hands off. The awesome thing was that the baby pushed itself/walked itself out. After that, baby was put on mum’s chest for skin-to-skin bonding for as long as she wished (which in this case was six hours!)
The Mum to be had informed choice, and had a birth plan, that was honoured.
There are complications in both caesareans and breech birth. So whether a woman gives birth vaginally or via caesarean, she should have informed choice. She should know the risks and benefits, whatever way baby comes, of all her options. She should also be able to decide, for herself, what is the best way of birthing for her and have her wishes respected.
The medical profession should be available to support her, to be informed, every step of the way, pre-conception onwards.
The Alexander Technique can also support women and help them to be empowered at all stages of pregnancy. For example, how to adapt comfortably to the changing bump. How to prepare for the type of birth or positions during the birthing process. How to feed, push prams, lift baby, play, and all other post birth activities…with ease.
There are a couple of books about the Alexander Technique and Pregnancy*. If you want to know more, maybe read one of those books or contact me for a session.
How might it help you? I will let a client and her husband tell you what learning the technique did for them…
EW & EW 1/9/16 – I wanted to thank you for all you work and support. The birth was wonderful. I laboured on my knees with my husband with me and in the water. I progressed quickly with being so low and delivered naturally despite her being in a back to back position
I had the most fantastic experience. I never understood when people said they enjoyed their birth experience before. I could cry thinking about how peaceful it was. Another thing I noticed is that I didn’t ache at all after the birth because my body was so relaxed throughout. When I had my first baby I was so frightened I ached for days after from the tension. I am now using the techniques when breast feeding to check my position.
I would recommend it to everyone and will be passing on the book you recommended. I will definitely be back in touch once I’m back in the world for some more sessions!
I’ve seen my wife give birth to both of our beautiful daughters. The pain of her first labour was mitigated only by gas, air and heavier-duty forms of pain relief thrown her way; the rigours of the second, however, were barely evident to me as she breathed and chanted her way through in a state of near-calm. From my viewpoint, her two labours couldn’t have been any further apart – the first saw her shrouded by tears and expletives, thrashing around red-faced in agony; the second, using the Alexander Technique, was typified by a serene sense of purpose. She didn’t swear once.
Jane Clappison, Alexander Technique Teacher
(01759) 307282
www.janeclappison.co.uk
*The Alexander Technique for Pregnancy and Childbirth – Britta Forsstrom and Mel Hampson
*The Alexander Technique Birth Book – Illana Machover and Angela Drake
Navigating, journeys and the Alexander Technique
I was so excited! My fella was home at last! I was madly in love and thought he was the most handsome man on the planet and he could do no wrong. We were at Manchester airport and we needed to get back to Hull. Basically West across the UK till you can’t go any further. We got in the car and I threw him my map (it was before the days of sat navs).
“Navigate us home will you?”
“Sure!”
Despite being in a “caring profession” for the latter part of my working life, in certain ways I have a very analytical brain. It’s probably towards the “masculine” end of the spectrum, and especially where map reading lies. I had navigated for a few road rallies, so I knew how to plot routes and read maps, and I presumed it was common to most human beings, and especially to the male of the species. Consequently I had no doubts the love of my life would get us home via the shortest route. However, this was not to be the case! I discovered he wasn’t perfect and we had our first relationship challenge! I won’t call it an argument, because it wasn’t, in the classical sense.
A few moments passed and I was given my first instructions as to where to go. I was driving, he was the navigator. All was good. I could just point the car in the directions he gave me. So I did.
When we were driving through leafy suburbs, of goodness knows where, I finally said I thought we were going the wrong way. I pulled over. He didn’t know where we were on the map. That was a bit of an alarm bell. I suggested we ask someone, but that didn’t go down well. I regained my confidence when he seemed to know where we were on the map after all. We set off again.
When we were in the middle of a very seedy part of Manchester, next to a row of shops, I again decided to bring up the possibility that we were lost. (Just to clarify, Hull has lots of seedy areas too). We stopped again. This time I decided to check out where we were on the map, but I needed to know where he thought we were. Rough ball park figure? It wasn’t long before I said “You don’t know how to read maps, do you?” and, yes, you guessed, the reply was “No.”
We got home, but the 2-3 hour journey ended up being 5 and we knew an awful lot more about each other at the end of it! I didn’t take that opportunity to teach him how to read maps, and he never asked. We did eventually decide to take life’s journey separately. However, I know he has managed to drive across the continent without maps and I imagine he had some awesome detours.
Some people say that it’s possible to learn the Alexander Technique without books, as F.M. Alexander managed it that way. Others say it’s possible to read books and learn how to do it. Even others are now learning the Alexander Technique via video’s and online tutorials. Traditionally it was done with a teacher, present in the room, and mostly on a 1:1 basis, but also via groups. I imagine, no matter how, there will be some dead ends, detours, and possibly confusion. It is in the experience of doing it that one learns most. My take is that the intellectual/cognitive process often comes after the experience, or at least alongside it.
Without a map, it’s highly possible to get lost, end up in unwanted places and never get to the intended destination. There may be some incredible adventures. Even with a teacher, present, in the room, who has already done their Alexander Technique journey and knows their route and the terrain, it can be blissful and yet sometimes challenging to learn the technique. However, your teacher gets to know you and how to help you explore your beauty spots and is there with any pitfalls and bogs on the way. They can support you in where you want to go and how to navigate the best route.
What’s wonderful with the technique is the journey is a step at a time. The place you are standing in is what is explored and each step is an adventure.
I would love to join you on your Alexander Technique journey. If you would like to have a lesson/come to a workshop, contact me via the contact page or phone me – 01759 307282
Jane Clappison
Parapets and whistling
My Dad had quite a few “War stories” he told but the one that I want to tell today is about when he stuck his head above the parapet. A parapet is a low protective wall for concealing troops. It’s a very short story and involves my Dad behind a parapet, his commanding officer, and a random third party doing shooting practice. Apparently his commanding officer bellowed out “Clappison” and my Dad lifted his head up above the parapet, and said “Yes, Sir” and got shot! Fortunately it hit him at the very edge of his forehead. All his kids, and anyone else listening, got to feel the dent in his skull, and the outline of the bullet underneath his skin every time he told the story. He carried the bullet for the rest of his life. I’m guessing it wasn’t a live bullet but a practice round.
My best friend also has a very similar wound from sticking his head above the parapet, but this one happened at school. It happened when he was very young, but he didn’t ever forget it. His body tries to protect him from ever being wounded again, every time he is in company.
Apparently, when he was at school, the teacher decided to tell the class about penguins. As my friend had been reading about penguins, with his mum, the night before, he got really excited. He knew all about penguins and they were from the south west coast of Africa, and even had islands named after them: the Penguin Islands. Unfortunately the teacher had only read about penguins from Antarctica. So when the teacher asked “Where do Penguins come from?” and my friend shot up his hand quicker than anyone else in the class, he got picked to answer the question. The answer made the teacher, and then the whole class, laugh. That bullet landed very deeply and is still felt: everywhere.
My friend hates being at parties. He doesn’t mind sitting on the edge of a group of people. He likes listening to conversations, but it is very unlikely he will join in. He is terrified of being asked a question, and would much prefer to avoid going to parties all together. It has been a habit almost all his life.
So, today we decided to see what would happen if we applied the Alexander Technique to this habit. We talked about what happens when he goes to parties and I could see his face change: his jaw tightened, he wasn’t going to talk, his eyes tightened up, he didn’t want to see, his breathing almost stopped, no air was going to pass his larynx, no sound was ever going to come out, and perhaps if he was really still he wouldn’t be noticed.
We then worked together, respecting the habit was there for a good reason. Firstly we talked about the thoughts, and that they were causing the tension. He wasn’t at a party. The tension remained. I invited him to notice the garden out of the window, and the birds on the bird table. Then I invited him to release his jaw which softened. Then to soften his ribs, so he could take a breath: that took a little while longer, but suddenly a full breath happened and he smiled. We continued working for a little longer. He said he would check in with his jaw when he was next at a party.
I noticed him whistling a little later on. He never does that unless he is really happy! I feel privileged to work with people in this way. To see the person, with their wounds, able to whistle because there is more than one choice on how to react. Perhaps it’s ok to look over the parapet now?
Fancy finding out how to feel more comfortable over the parapet, at parties or when you are in company? You don’t have to like parties, but you can feel more at ease. Why not book a lesson?
Tel:- 01759 307282
Jane Clappison MSTAT